this is a “loaded” post.
I’m usually a 50/50 picture to word blogger. but I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, and I had two choices – post nothing OR post a wordy, heartfelt post. I choose the latter, obviously.
I never know how to start these dang things.
how about here – this is not a pity party. looks can be deceiving! :)
I don’t know if I’ve made it obvious, through my blog, but “chapter chicago” has not gone as planned. and by planned, I mean securing a real job, finding a place to call ours, and moving forward. I kind of feel as though I’ve been stuck on the world’s fastest ferris wheel. time is without a doubt moving, at a rapid pace. but I don’t feel as though I’m going anywhere. making any progress. I’m just going ’round & ’round & ’round. which is incredibly frustrating.
it’s hard not to doubt yourself. your abilities.. your intelligence.. your worth, when you have a beautiful, well-earned diploma and very little to show for it. [besides a monthly student loan payment. rudeeeee]. it’s hard not to be stressed, to throw nightly pity parties ..but I
can’t don’t. I use phrases like “this is only temporary,” “things will get better,” “we can only go up from here“. they work–ish, but in the back of my mind, I’m always thinking, “how do I get myself out of this shit show?” [just being honest].
but thankfully, this month is the month to give thanks. so after that slightly depressing unload, let’s change the pace.
thank you [J]. you are my rock. if we can get through this, we can get through anything. you make the difficult times seems so much easier. thank you [J]’s parents. I often wonder how we will ever repay you for the generosity you have shown us through these tough times. I haven’t come up with anything ..yet! thank you mom & dad. I’m really glad you believe the job of parenting never ends, because if you didn’t ..I would’ve proved you wrong. your support means the WORLD TO ME, especially at age 25. I’m so blessed. thank you family & friends. now is really hard for me. and sometimes I rather keep to myself than talk. but please know, I appreciate all of you. just being there. supporting me ..through the good times & bad.
yes, I cried writing that. hot dang.
I’ll leave you with this ..a beautiful quote I think fits perfectly ..
we’re all just learning how to sail our ships ♥
“the greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” – epictetus
cheers to overcoming the hard times. always being there for your friends & family. and never giving up.